I bolt awake every morning to see how much longer I have before I have to make the move to begin getting ready for work. I always awake before the alarm and squint to see the clock on the bookcase. I hate my job. Going on twenty one years. Only recently do I sweat and squirm before the alarm clock rings, worrying how I'm going to make it. Nearly thirty students in a ceramics class, six classes a day.  Half the little fuckers don't give a shit about what I really love. They sit around gawking at their stupid cellphones. At least they're quiet.

Before the sun even thinks about rising I gotta begin my day. I work in another state, have an hour commute, and school starts before 7:30. So I rise by 3:30, outta the house by five. I'm not one to wake and go. I have to shock myself awake with lots of caffeine and a little nicotine. It's always dark when I leave so I feel lonely and sad. It's especially bad in the winter when cold temps add to the misery.

How did I get here? Why so miserable? I blame myself and the idiotic school administrators I work for. Myself because I mindlessly made major life choices often taking the easiest route. The admins because they treat the potential gem of my class like a piece of dog shit. They over stuff an inadequate space full of kids who couldn't care less. All in the name of fulfilling state mandated art credits. I should be grateful for the job security but hate what my job really is.